a bit of grace

The random musings of Kate Grace

Self-Induced Hibernation (For the Good of Everyone)

I’ve been having one of those kinds of weeks. You know the sort. A week where everything you touch seems to break or go wrong. It’s seriously gotten to comedic proportions at this point. So much so that half way through the week I went into hibernation. I’ve not really left the house since Wednesday since I realized the last horrible thing left, the one thing that hasn’t gone wrong yet, is car-related.

I hung my car keys up and there they have stayed for days.

I came to the conclusion that some sort of astrological practical joke must be having its way with me for the time being. So I’ll just wait it out.

So here’s the list, for your comedic relief. Let the record show none of this is exaggerated or made up. This has been my doozy of a week.

Friday, July 16:

Before going to bed in the wee hours of Friday morning, I made my rounds around the house closing blinds, turning off lights and locking up. I’m staying with my Mom right now and she likes things done a particular way.

I went to close the tall blinds at the kitchen door wall and they got stuck. I did not yank or pull or use any sort of dramatic force, but when I turned the rod to get them moving the rod fell off. A clean separation. No break. No snap. Just off. As if the rod got sick of the blinds and wanted some distance.

I left it to be dealt with in the morning. So when I woke up I set about fixing the blinds, which took very little time thankfully.

Saturday, July 17:

Mom was gone for the day visiting a friend in Kalamazoo and I was dog sitting for my aunt. Stuck in the house for most of the day I decided to clean up the kitchen. After awhile I went to start the kitchen disposal in the sink…. and nothing. I tried again. Still nothing.

I didn’t really think anything of it but later the house starting getting kind of hot. I hadn’t heard the air kick on in awhile. Mom got home and commented on the heat. We left, went to dinner and came back to a house roasting from the inside out. We checked the breakers and then noticed only half of the house had power. We called the electric company and later that night they sent a guy to check it out. Turns out my attempt to run the disposal had blown one of the two electric connections behind the house.

We spent the night without power, sweating profusely in our beds.

Sunday July 18: I broke the blinds in the living room, and these were proving more difficult to fix than in the kitchen. Thankfully a very nice man from the electric company and set to work connecting us back to the power grid so I was able to set to work in the comfort of air conditioning.

It took a while and a few cuts on my hands but I finally got the blinds back up and operational.

Monday, July 19 (in the wee hours of the morning):

It was roughly 1am and I was still up working on some things at my laptop when I noticed a crazy lightning storm happening outside. It was a moonless night so I walked out on the back patio and watched the lightning for a bit.

 A few houses down I heard dogs barking in a backyard. Not really out of the normal so that didn’t ruffle my feathers. But then the barks turned from normal to mean. Barks that were declaring to something in the dark night “Come closer and I’ll bite your leg off.”

Then there was the clanging of a metal fence being shook pretty hard. I was trying to make sense of the noise since all the houses that back up to each other here have metal fences with gates to get into the back. I started to wonder if someone couldn’t get their gate open to pull their car in.

But then another dog barking echoed between the houses, and this dog was closer. Then a loud and chaotic crashing noise similar to a woodpile toppling over. Still, I couldn’t see anything. Occasionally a spark of lightning would light up the row of backyards, but only for a second. And a second of brightness is long enough to warp your night eyes and make the dark seem darker.

Let me pause here to mention there’s been some trouble in the neighborhood lately. Hooligans mostly breaking into houses for petty theft or breaking into foreclosed homes for parties of the illegal variety.

So when I heard the crashing it suddenly clicked in my mind: This is someone jumping fences and running at a pretty fast pace. And this person is heading straight for me.

JUST as I thought this I turned to our backyard just as a guy ran out from behind the detached garage at full speed. He was running right towards me. There wasn’t enough time for me to realize he couldn’t see me standing there. There wasn’t much time to realize anything.

The screaming started of its own volition.

Blood curdling screams came out of me. The sort I had never heard before and couldn’t control. Even while screaming a passing thought floated through my mind – this doesn’t sound like my voice!

The male figure stopped cold in his tracks and stood there for a moment frozen probably piecing things together himself, or maybe pissing his own pants by the scream from just a few feet away from him. He took off running the way he had entered.

Still screaming (because literally you CAN’T physically stop those screams), I fumbled with the door wall. I woke my Mom up. I woke the neighborhood up. And I scared the crap out of the cops rolling through the neighborhood in search of the teenage boys who had been ringing doorbells and running away at 1 o’clock in the morning!

Tuesday, July 20:

I broke unemployment aid. Sure… the republicans and their filibuster had something to do with it. But I’m convinced it also was caused by the week I’m having since this was the week where my funds didn’t come through.

To all the others out there, my apologies. Although like the blinds and the electricity and the scary male figure in our backyard in the middle of the night, this has since been rectified.

Wednesday, July 21:

I have given up on leaving the house and simply bunkered down to work. But the angry astros found me. My phone is jacked up. Completely jacked. It freezes on some pages. Won’t let me open some applications. Says there’s not enough service coverage to connect to the internet or email.

I use a Blackberry. A blackberry tour. I loved it when I first got it. It has now reduced itself to a Texas Hold ‘Em machine. Not unlike the gameboy I owned 19 years ago. Except I had more games for my gameboy.

Thursday/Friday, July 22/23:

I may need you all to fill me in on what went down in the world. I did the emotional equivalent of wrapping myself in bubble wrap and going tunnel vision to at least not NOTICE what went wrong.

 I buried myself in my work for the full time and slept. That’s what I did. It’s also been storming here today so I didn’t dare step outside for fear of being struck by lightning. 

So there it is. Thankfully no one asked me to hold their newborn baby this past week. For the most part everything that went horrible wrong was rectified shortly after. But I am DRAINED! I’m bunkering in for the night to watch some TV and sleep.

Hopefully it was just a “week” and I’ll be waking up out of it tomorrow morning!


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This entry was posted on July 24, 2010 by in regular.
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