The random musings of Kate Grace
“I just don’t have time to (insert form of creative expression here).” It’s an excuse/reason I’ve heard a lot this past year and with a clear and refreshed perspective, I get it.
My schedule has taken a jump to the “busy” recently (and thankfully). It’s good news for me and certainly for my bank account, but bad news for my writing. It’s amazing how quickly a schedule can fill up with activities and responsibilities that pull at your brain leaving it thin and useless (like that hanging slip of lip skin you can’t help but play with before tearing it off).
I rushed home last night with every intention of writing… but then: Burn Notice. Yup. I made the mistake of taking my dinner to the couch and getting sucked into Burn Notice. Not because I like the show or am into it – I’ve never actually watched it before last night – but because it’s just so damn easy to find an excuse NOT to write.
And after a long day of dealing with work, rush hour traffic and damning the traffic gods for allowing semi-trucks anywhere near the freeways during peak commuting hours, you’re tired. I’m tired. I couldn’t even cook last night. I microwaved some cold chicken and ate it right off the bone Renaissance-Fair style in front of the TV.
I could even hear the internal writer voice in my head address the army of imagination elves who had showed up revving to go. “We’ve lost her.” My intentions were bunk because I let my determination guard down. Last week I went to the woods to write and edit without distraction. My mistake? I traveled to the woods with two others who brought me as their distraction.
By the second day the others were getting stir crazy and I was expected to offer company. And here’s the thing many already know and if you don’t, you need to know – writers, when writing, are the worst company to keep. They aren’t company. We’re A and B holes. We have to be or else we’ll never finish anything.
When you have things to do, whether it be work or familial obligations, you will never have time to write (or create). This is simply the truth. Spare time will never come to you wrapped with a shiny bow as a reward for all the times you put other things and people first. There will always be something to fill spare time with.
I just realized this truth. If you don’t make time to write, you will never write.
So, with this new and necessary resolve I went about clearing my schedule of as much as possible. These are things I care about and enjoy doing, so it will be no small sacrifice in the coming months. But it’s simply what needs to be done. I will never have the time to write. I need to make the time to write.
I have to actively and persistently make time to write and then protect that time, or else it will never happen.
All of this to say to those in my life and whom I adore: I’m gonna be a really big B-Hole for the next few months.
Sorry. Try not to hate me too hard.