a bit of grace

The random musings of Kate Grace

A weekend of extremes

As I sit here writing this, I continually jump over to another screen to press refresh… because right now, Burden of the Soul is approaching 13,000 downloads. Not total, but in one weekend. It’s a massive win for me, and needed right now. It’s been a long and trying journey to this point. One that left me discouraged enough to possibly hang the Burden hat. There are three more books living in my head… four, actually, but that one is a bit of a side step for characters that readers are falling in love with beyond Clara, our main character.

I needed a jolt recently to refocus, so I cancelled my cable because I really shouldn’t be watching reruns of Friends when there are more books to write. I need to be reading more and getting rid of television as an easy “check out” every evening was the first thing I thought of. Now… in one weekend alone over 12,000 Kindle copies of Burden of the Soul have been downloaded. No longer is it a question of “Can I disappoint a few hundred?” Now it’s the matter of, “I can’t disappoint thousands.”

This at at the end of a trying weekend. Break ups are tough in general, but this one is particularly difficult. Although one of the last things he said to me during the break up was, “I’m still your biggest fan.” During moments when I was discouraged enough to quit, he reminded me I had to keep going. He supported my writing and this series completely. Not only that, he changed my brake light when it was burnt out. Then the other one. He woke up first when Maddie needed to go out at 6am so I wouldn’t have to. He made me laugh… a lot. And told me I was beautiful, wonderful, amazing every chance he got. He’s a rare find… a wonderful man with a heart bigger than any doubt your past can muster.

But sometimes things don’t work out the way you want, you hope… you try everything in your will to make work. Sometimes it’s just a square peg and a round hole. We parted ways on Friday, he leaving still committed to being my biggest fan and my bones aching for him while falling to sleep. But the muses are a funny lot… in this experience I understand a character more, what is going through his mind, what happened in his past and the challenges he faces now as I write the second book.

The Muses are a funny lot… remember that.

As a new dog owner I’ve been watching a lot of The Dog Whisperer and he always says, “You get the dog you need, not the dog you want.” And it’s true, I can say confidently. Maddie has taught me a lot, but the same can be said about the Muses. You don’t necessarily get the life you want as a writer, you get the life you need in order to write.

It’s been a long road but I embrace this heart ache and I embrace this triumph having faith that I’m exactly where I need to be right now as the writer I am and will become. And I hope that my heart lessons that come through in these characters will touch a piece of your heart… and maybe teach you lessons that can be learned from example, and not through mistakes.

13,1117 downloads, and commitments.

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This entry was posted on February 13, 2012 by in Uncategorized.
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